Know this: It is OK to focus on other things right now. You Might Also Like: An Open Letter To The Newly Divorced Mom It will take time to come apart and come back together as something new, too. Remember how long you dated before you decided to get married? Remember how long you planned your wedding? How much energy went into the dress and the flowers and the food? It took time. And I know you are grateful for your friends and for the family who are there to carry you, but it’s not really the same, is it? It’s not that you can’t it’s just that sometimes in the middle, when you are busy taking care of everyone else, deep down you might long to not have to do it all on your own. And I know you can do all of these things yourself. Someone who says, “Don’t worry, I’ll order dinner” or who pours you a glass of wine at the end of a long workday. I know that sometimes you wish there were someone to take care of you, too. Two people to tie little laces and clean up when the stomach bug hits. I know that, sometimes, a part of you wonders if things might have been easier if there were still two of you. The snail went into our bucket, off to a new place. They would put up a fight, but we would win. Eventually, as we pulled, their soft flesh would become exposed, the shell beginning to move away from the rock. A little more tugging, and then a little more. We would reach down, grasp their tiny shells and yank. They would cling to their spot, despite the rising tides or the sea life that eyed them for a snack. Whenever I think of the middle, I think of the snails we used to pull off the rocks at the beach when I was younger. It might be uncomfortable and itchy, but you will make it through. You are exhausted and as you try to make sense of this new life on your own. You are waiting for things to click and for happiness to flow. This middle, this uncertainty, this time of being dragged, it hurts. But you can’t get to the happy ending without going through the middle first. The middle is filled with learning and growing, which always feels less like growth and more like being dragged. This article first appeared on Divorced Moms and has been republished with permission.
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